I imagine it’s pretty much like any Western woman being married to a Muslim man.
Throughout it’s years of anti-Islam activism, PEGIDA Canada has had conversations with several different Canadian women who married Muslim men. Interestingly, they all follow a similar pattern.
All met their husbands in an educational setting, all of them converted to Islam, all of them left Islam after several years. This article is snippets of conversation that we have had with these women. They will remain anonymous for their protection.
“My ex is extremely well spoken and charismatic. I was drawn to him. I believe he sought me out in order to stay in Canada. He was from Tunisia on an education scholarship”
“I was looking for something, I had lost my (Christian) faith, Islam seemed to be a safe religion.”
“Initially, I enjoyed being ‘protected’, part of a family”
“He was charming, kind and attentive during the beginning of our relationship, I found out later that he was cheating on me the whole time.”
“We talked about him taking a second wife even before we were married, but I never thought he would do it.”
“The education about Islam was intense. It was non-stop. But it felt good, like I was working towards a higher purpose”
“It was required to wear a hijab as soon as it became serious. Not only hijab, but loose, modest clothing.”
“My parents didn’t know what to do. They supported me as best they could.”
“My husband was physically and verbally abusive after we got married. He also would have affairs, and didn’t care that I knew.”
“We were not legally married, just through Islamic law. It was a house ceremony with his friends. It felt really odd, because I didn’t know anyone. One of his friends ‘gave me away’”.
“Shortly after we were married, he told me he was going to get a second wife. I was devastated and angry. He said that’s the way it was, I couldn’t do anything about it.”
“He has been free to practice polygamy along with many other people here. With it being illegal you would think they would address it. I’m almost positive if it were Mormon’s doing it at the scale the Muslims are doing it, it would be international news.”
“We lived off social assistance for the most part. ‘Allah provided’ through the Canadian taxpayer”.
“I raised my children, and his other wife’s children. We seldom mixed with the Kaffir (unbeliever) “.
“We were taught that it was acceptable to Allah to lie (taqiya) and steal from the Kaffir”.
“I was not physically abused, but verbally and mentally abused. I used to cringe when he said my name”.
“Once, I shoved my sleeves up, because it was hot outside. I got two days of lectures for being immodest”.
“I wore a niqab for about a month, but I couldn’t stand it. I started getting panic attacks and couldn’t breath”.
“Once when I went outside without my hijab, he screamed at me while I sat in my car. I was so scared, I peed my pants”.
“He told me I had to have an ‘ugly’ voice when I answered the phone so I wouldn’t tempt someone. If I stood at a window without my hijab on, I was given a lecture on modesty. He said it was like going outside without clothes on”.
“Some of my ‘sisters’ had husbands who would tie their kids up, and smack the bottom of their feet when they misbehaved”.
“My husband said he provided food and clothing for me, it was enough. I should be content. I felt like a dog”.
“When I wore hijab, I tended to be kind of judgmental about women who did not. It was essential to censure women who did not”.
“He worshipped his mother, and she hated me”.
“He took his new wife on honeymoon in a different country while I stayed home, taking care of our children”.
“He also took advantage of a program for low income citizens to pay for post secondary education. He ended up getting a degree in sharia law from a university in Egypt. Like literally, the Canadian government paid him to get this.”
“My lawyer compared him to Charles Manson”.
“I was called stupid for expressing misgivings about things”.
“I felt like I was going crazy, and then I felt guilty for that, thinking I wasn’t praying enough, or was not good enough”
“I know not all Muslim marriages are like this, I have friends who have good marriages”.
“I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown, I couldn’t take it anymore”.
“My kids are being torn. He is teaching them his way”.
“I don’t want my kids to be like that! My son disrespects me, says his dad says I am nothing”.
“I had to tell my kids to lie to their grandparents, my parents about things we were taught, because I knew it would upset them”.
“I’m terrified that he will take my kids to his country of origin”.
“I had a restraining order on him, but now that it’s done, I am afraid.”
“When he has visitation with his kids, I am so afraid he will leave the country, and I won’t see them again”.
“Get out. There is help out there”.
What we can take from these stories is that these men know what they are looking for. They know who to target, and they know how to manipulate, shame, oppress and dominate.
Many of these women move to another country with their children, because they are fearful their husbands will take their children, as in sharia, the children belong to the father. Muslim men are about control. Control over women, in their marriage, control in politics and control in religion.