But a sense of humor, a trait that, unfortunately, is exceedingly rare in most Muslims, could go a long way toward alleviating airline passengers’ inherent fear of you. And no, teaching people about Islam definitely is NOT the answer. Nor is acting perpetually offended.
If you don’t have a sense of humor, here are some tips:
FLYING WHILE MUSLIM: Tips to stop random security checks
-
Paint a smile on your face DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT’S 4AM.
(Very real, and definitely legitimate) Studies have shown that 78% of Muslims that smile whilst flying will have a more comfortable flight. If you can’t lift those cheek muscles at 5am, Fenty Beauty do a damn good liquid lipstick. I advise you beg your friend to help you draw on a Joker-esqe grin to appease the masses and put those non-Muslims at ease because trust me, someone who spends $22.00 on a lip paint, isn’t about to blow anything up any time soon.
-
Don’t read. Anything. In any language. Out loud. Or in your head.
This one is fairly self-explanatory. Our timelines and newsfeeds in the past year have been bombarded with stories from Muslims being kicked off their flight for merely speaking in languages that aren’t English, reading Arabic newspapers, through to professors being escorted off the plane for working on differential equations. The safest way of minimizing suspicion is to adopt a vow of silence for the entirety of the flight except if asked what flavour peanuts you’d like or to comment on how mild the air is.
-
Don’t be too friendly with other passengers. But also don’t be distant. A little bit of friendly but not totally creepy.
There’s an undeniable urge to want to prove to those around you that you’re approachable, conversational and very accepting. You’re allowed to make conversation in the lounge but limit your topics to the weather, X Factor, and at a stretch, the rising cost of Freddos. There is a risk of course of appearing too interested though. So avoid asking intrusive questions such as what prompted their decision to pair green shoes with a purple pair of jeans.
-
Wear American-looking clothing
In one final attempt to break down an imagined barrier, failing your painted smile, and enlightened conversation on whether the X Factor is fixed, you can emulate Americanness in the most overt way possible. A Yankees baseball cap or a Dallas Cowboys football sweatshirt or any team logo from the city to or from which you are traveling or originating. A business suit for men is good, too. And for sure, if you’re a woman, leave the hijab in your carry-on luggage.
Rebel Patriot says
Let them take their flying carpets. Did that not originate in the land of ragheads?
Az gal says
Just keep them all out. Disneyland doesn’t need them.